


so eden sank to grief

by themajorarcana



Category: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Gen, also Chase is a sly bastard who would literally do anything to destroy hannibal and hurt Guan, hm.....just grown up dragon warriors facing love and desire and Adult Worries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 08:22:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13360419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themajorarcana/pseuds/themajorarcana
Summary: So this is what desire is - dissecting yourself alive.Chase Young was once training to be a Dragon of Fire. Kimiko tries to make amends.





	so eden sank to grief

**Author's Note:**

> OK, I have long wanted to explore the dynamic between Chase and Kimiko - and also the dynamic between Chase and Guan and Chase and the team. Just. I find it captivating. This is it.

  
_Come slowly—Eden_   
_Lips unused to thee_   
_Bashful—sip thy jasmines_   
_As the fainting bee._

 

i.

  
She is not yet nine when her father makes her sit down before - no, not next to - him, and not quite daring to meet her eyes, says:

"Kimiko, your mother has died."

As most children do not, she understands the definition of death - it is a sort of passing. And as most girls do, she is the cruelest to herself.

Thus she crosses her small arms and forces herself to be brave. Her voice is a tad bit louder than the usual;

"How?"

Tohomiko Toshiro looks at this strange child whom he does not feel being his own at all. She is tactless and wants to have everything.

Too much wildfire, is what this girl is - an emotional bomb, ticking to explode. Already burning herself up.

"My dear" the father says. For a moment, he cannot recall her name. "She killed herself."

Kimiko orders herself not to cry.

 

  
ii.

  
It is a relief, a redemption to leave the paternal house at the age of thirteen. Tokyo is suffocating - her father distant; her private school a prison. The fire in her soul hums low, starving - striving for a real family.

And this is what Kimiko finds;

The bond is not based on blood, but loyalty. It is but formed on one house and one greater purpose, heroic and ironic by any other name. She finds joy and she finds family, and these two somehow connect - cause and consequence - and Kimiko laughs and cries and feels more than she has since forever. She shapes herself and loves her siblings that are not of blood.

Clay, the ever-tower, firm and calm and her constant.

Raimundo, the light-hearted rebel; her first sweetheart.

Omi, the one who asks and answers his questions and others' too, always searching for parts of himself in the sharpest of shards. Even when very young, he is conscious of his place as a chosen oddity.

They all have their faults - and she loves them for these, truly.

 

  
iii.

  
Again, this is an old tale - perhaps the oldest there is -, but the girl falls for a boy. The daughter of fire thinks she loves the son of air, Raimundo with his tanned face and light eyes and his treacherous, endless heart. And when Rai leaves with and for Wuya, the witch from an older time, an evil time - only and only then, Kimiko does weep. Mostly without shame.

Raimundo arrives home in the first day of autumn, when the leaves are turning yellow and nature is turning towards rest. Although only a year older than Clay, he looks weary and somehow ragged and much, much older than his fifteen years.

When he reaches the gates of the temple, he holds his hands up high; a sign of surrender. His fingers are coated with blood, flashing brown under the sinking sun. His hands are empty. So are his hopes.

"Please" he pleads.

Clay wastes no time to hug him while Omi bows and accepts. But Rai is looking to catch her eyes, both desperate and daring, and she should love him as in the tales, yet she turns her face away.

Betrayal for a betrayal. Measure for measure.

Kimiko, under all that makeup, is still a child.

 

  
iv.

  
Omi turns fifteen in the summer Kimiko celebrates her sixteenth birthday. But unlike her clumsy attempts, Omi has territfying strength. And like her, he has a pride to match it.

The seas and the rivers and most people they meet along their travels adorn and bow before his every step. The rest of them, the three other monks, are well aware just how minuscule their roles are compared to the youngest among them. Yes, people respect him. Think him a legend.

But they are the ones who protect and tend for him, careful and watchful and loving.

_It is such a long fall_ , Rai confesses to her one day, that dreamlike summer Omi turns fifteen. He is somber, a rarity. _An easy fall. Easiest there is. Here I am, struggling to become an Apprentice while you are already on the way to becoming actual dragons, all because I was too cheap to resist temptation. And now I am here, always falling behind._

Behind them, Clay is teaching Omi the basics of playing the guitar. Dojo is there too, to argue, and be bossy. The air is light and the smell of the sun blinds the shadows on the ground.

Kimiko will remember Rai's words for a long time.

 

  
v.

  
Indeed, she will remember, for from the myriad of people they encounter, one man - half-beast, half-human - stands out, dark as the promise of death.  
His name is Chase Young.

And Kimiko can almost taste the longing in his eyes; not for Omi himself, but rather, the potential he represents. Chase Young is infinitely proud and endlessly jealous, a reflection of Omi by a thread.

"He used to be a monk too. A pure soul" chides Master Fung. Omi and Clay nod.

But Rai and Kim know way too much about temptation to put a good face on. To let this slide. They are well aware just how much pride cost and how heavy the price for ambition. They can see right through Chase Young, straight into his old and black heart. Dry as shriveled leaves.

Rai knows this. It is such a long and easy fall. He lived and fought and paid the prices, thrice, for his mistakes.

And Kimiko has long learned this lesson, this lesson of pride, simply through experiencing these falls through the other eyes and skins of the other monks. 

Fire, after all, feeds on and from the other three elements.

 

  
vi.

  
Upon realizing Omi would never join the Heylin, Chase - this thing wearing the mask of a young man - simply vanishes.

And thus, the four of them grow in strength and beauty, and the years pass like seconds. Courage in their hands, hope in their hearts.

Fools, all of them.

Shaolin apprenticeship requires purity in the form of celibacy and so they deny themselves the means of physical love. It is an abstract, a passive way of life, something Kimiko would scorn were it not for the fact that the boys she is living with are siblings to her, and it is enough. It is everything.

Still, still. She catches Rai's eyes sometimes, in the early mornings when they can't quite control where their eyes shift. His expression is shy and open at once, all yearning.  
Kimiko has forgiven him a thousand times and back again.

Still. She pretends she does not notice.

 

  
vii.

  
Not long after turning eighteen, on the brink of winter, Master Monk Guan requests their presence at the Northern Shaolin Monastery, to allegedly aid the residents fix the bell tower. Omi and Rai are very excited - they had not seen Guan for years now, and idealism still runs strong in both their veins. It makes Clay chuckle and Kim roll her eyes fondly. Some things do not change, even with time.

Dojo takes more time than usual. Even dragons grow old and Dojo is Dashi's age, older than Guan himself. So when they begin to ascend with a speed like none before, the monks know it is not accident or Dojo's will that pushes them to fall into the thick depth of the Lulang forest.

Scrambling to their feet is not easy while having a moutful and handful of dirt - Omi is the first to manage, but Clay is the one who begins speaking.

"Was that good old Jack?"

Then a voice, low and polite and more of a hiss, behind her, but in front of the boys.

"Please, do not jest."

_Of course._

Omi is dumbstruck and Rai's scowl is a surly sight. Kimiko doesn't have to turn around to know who is behind her.

"I only wish to talk with one of my long lost apprentice here." How it resembles a soft symphony, this voice. Like a reassurance.

She only dares to turn around slowly, as if calculated.

Although he is stroking Dojo's head gently, the dragon goes rigid - the terror is apparent in their eyes. Kimiko knows well that Chase wants them to witness this mock-gesture. For him, their dragon owes up to a three-course meal and a nicely-shaped dessert. How many years has it been since that? Thousand and five-hundred?

"I am not your apprentice." snaps Omi with a great deal of condescension.

"Get away from our dragon, Mister" Clay's voice is polite, but his hands on his lasso on his side.

The closest standing to the warlord is Kimiko. Chase is standing but five feet away from her, but she is strangely void of fear. A challenge, a revolt. He is somehow greater than her, much taller and wider, all the armor and the ambition feeding him since centuries. His face is proud, vanity clear on the sharp angles near his mouth and she could not remember his hair being this long, this shining. It falls down like a regal mantle on his shoulders, till his narrow waist and sturdy hips.

He is truly beautiful. Deadly, with a terrible, black heart.

She has a terrible feeling, one that fumbles in her throat and struggles to prise open her mouth. With great difficulty, she resists the urge to lick her lips - _to lick his_ , a voice whispers but she shuts it out. Instead, Kimiko bites her tongue. Blood oozes in and it tastes morbid and metallic. Good. This will sober her up.

Meanwhile, Chase's gaze grazes the boys - her boys, her blood - who all turned strong and stately yet remained stubborn. He even bows a bit towards Omi, as if submitting. But this is a lie. Young bows to no one.

Then, if it is possible, Rai grimace is worsening by each minute they spend here. Chase smiles his predatory and his bitter smile, sudden and pearlwhite and harsh. The hole where her heart is grows narrow and all too small as this mythical nobody (he, after all, changes his names as his skin) looks directly ahead and drinks in the sight of her.   
She is next and she knows herself. Knows him as well, how she might look through his eyes.

Small but strong, Kimiko has grown proportionately, her eyes the ocean, her lips the hue of blood. She has grown out her hair and dyed it not and put on no wigs to cover. Facade-free, Kimiko beams internally for she is exactly aware just how beauty born and bred she is, knows this from the faded photos of her parents that are ill-bound as of today.

It has been more than five years since they met. And she is a child no more. She is not afraid.

Yet when he looks ( _really, truly, genuinely stares into her eyes_ ), she trembles.

His face is taken aback in his own manner. There is a certain softness passing over his expression now, the reptilian pupils grow dark and unfocused. And Kimiko's insides jump and there is something ancient and primal pooling down her stomach and through the vertebrae of her spine too. It makes her head spin and her breath hitch and she is getting lost and surely, if she would step anywhere now, she would stumble and fall. And _oh_. He trembles too, slightly, solemnly, subtly. Not of fear, and matching her tremors.

Oh.

_It is such a long, long fall._

So this is what desire is.

Dissecting yourself alive.

 

  
viii.

  
"I have an urgent matter to discuss with Guan." As if hours or days passed between the previous sentence uttered. "It would be a verbal spar exclusively, I assure you."

Chase is acting nonchalant again by wearing the mask of total impassivity. Kimiko has never resented him more.

"Come with us to the temple then" her temper flares, wanting none of his bullshit. Fire is impatient and does not bear deferment easily.

Then she looks at the others, her boys. All of them are gaping at her.

"What?"

"Kim!"

" _Helloooo_ " waves Rai. "He is E-N-E-M-Y. Gonna throw us off our own dragon at the first possible chance."

"I can wait for him here, _palermo_ " Chase's laugh is silent. "Lest you die from fright."

Kimiko tears herself away from the sight of his mouth

Which turns out to be a grave mistake. Not even a second passes and the warlord is already heading towards Omi.

Immediately, Kimiko spins around and blocks his way. Behind her, Rai unsheathes his sword. The sound it makes is flat like a caress. They have long learned to fight as if making love.

"No" she prides on her voice to be strong and unwavering. "You cannot talk to him. At all."

Chase has to lean forward to be able to properly face her. He smells of smoke and blood and something utterly cold; the bronze tint of his shielding plate hurts her eyes, but she wills herself not to blink. Ultimately, this is a survey of power, a battle of discipline.

"Tohomiko" he murmurs. There is a clear crack in his mask now which can be clearly heard in his voice. "Your licence is not needed."

It is the exact moment Clay chooses. With an unnaturally blunt force, he reaches them, slamming himself into Chase who seemingly begins to roll, but is actually drawing the Dragon of Earth with him. Then, the nauseating sound of a bone or two breaking.

Clay bellows.

 

  
ix.

  
"Enough" screams both Omi and Kimiko. A great gust of wind mutes them - Rai has called his element for help and the trees crack under the boy's effort.

Not wasting any time, the tibetan monk launches himself to grab Chase by his hair, but he throws him over effortlessly, right onto Raimundo's face who swears something in Portuguese.

Kimiko jumps over both of them, at the collar of the armour, the other near Chase's face. The fabric of the cuirass starts to smoke at once. This is no threat, but direct action. It could easily melt too. The Star of Hanabi twinkles around her neck, pulses like a second heart and makes her hands too hot to touch.

"Enough" she repeats. She has become softer too, somehow more tender. Chase has a shadow of a smile playing around his lips, feral and full of scorn. "Come to the temple, if you only wish to talk."

He shrugs his shoulders, an action much too light juxtaposing his expression. There are infinite depths to him. Then. He places his hands on hers but does _not_ clutch. It is far from a violent move; it is just sudden. Lovely. Intimate. An alarm, shrill and shrewd, goes off in her head. But she doesn't let go.

Even through his gloves he is tangibly cold.

"If I go to Guan's temple, I will die." his eyes are shockingly yellow and not humane at all. This should scare her.

"Don't be dramatic" Rai sounds astounded as he helps Omi up. He adds, "Asshole."

"Yes. Guan would not hurt you" adds Omi. "Not a single skin on your hair."

"Hair on your head" this is from Clay, a muffled grunt behind the boy duo.

Chase stares at their group, all dirty from wallowing on the ground and hoarse from screaming. And he begins to laugh. It is more of a snarl - his canines are way too sharp. And he still hasn't moved his hands away.

_This is a dream,_ decides Kimiko, _I have eaten too much strawberries before dinner and now I have kamikazecrazy delusions in my bed._  And: Omi _will wake me up soon._

Instead, the dragonlord cuts her narrative. Back to reality.

"The place itself is too cold for me." he explains, slow and languid. There is a lightness at the edges. He finds this - them - amusing. "It is far too high, above the valleys. Unlike your temple."

"Pneumonia?" guesses Omi.

"Acrophobia?" suggests Clay.

"Your heart" Kimiko whispers, dawning on her. "Your heart would stop. You are half-reptile."

Chase catches her gaze.

"Dragon."

She snorts.

"Whatever."

 

  
x.

  
While Omi and Clay go to find and bring Monk Guan with them dragonbound, it is Rai's and Kim's responsibility to guard Chase Young. It feels ridiculous.

They are eyeing each other silently, all peril, if it comes to that.

Or rather.

The boy watches the girl, the girl watches the _creature_. The man.

"I don't like this at all, Kim" Rai stands very close to her and his voice is low and careful. "We both know that even if he came with peace now, it is all part of a bigger and definitely bad plan."

Yes, reckons Kimiko, observing this pale face, and dark hair. She reaches for Rai's hand, squeezes it as if to collect courage. Despite Master Fung's and Omi's optimism, this fair face hides impure intentions.

It pains her that she needs to remind herself. 


End file.
